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Relationships

About the 4 Attachment Styles

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attachment

By Ashley Barnes, M.S. Attachment As human beings, we are highly social creatures who depend on connection with others to survive. Attachment theory posits that our earlier connections with caregivers shape and influence how we move through the world and romantic relationships. The development of one’s attachment style is understood to be influenced by the following factors: Inconsistency/unpredictability or consistency/predictability in your early environment Temperament Relational trauma Your primary caregiver’s capacity to attune to your needs when you were a baby/child John Bowlby, founder of attachment theory, conducted extensive research on attachment. Psychological researchers continued to expand on his theory, including Mary Ainsworth; Ainsworth created the “Strange Situation” study in the 1970s where toddlers between the ages of 12 to 18 months reacted to a situation in which they were briefly left alone and then reunited with their mother.  Based on the childrens’ responses, Ainsworth concluded that there were three …

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How Does Substance Abuse Affect Families?

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How does substance abuse affect families

How does substance abuse affect families? The answer is complex, but in short, it has the potential to impact familial relationships in several ways. In fact, one myth about substance abuse is that it only affects the person misusing drugs or alcohol. Ask any family with a loved one struggling with addiction, and they will tell you how they have all been affected. Current reports suggest over 20 million American adults have a diagnosable substance use disorder. That means around 20 million families are impacted by a loved one’s addiction. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSHA) reports one in eight children lives with at least one parent with a substance use disorder. How Does Substance Abuse Affect Families? Whether you are a child, sibling, parent, or extended family member of a person with a substance use disorder, you can be impacted physiologically and psychologically. Changes Family Roles Each family …

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4 Ways to Heal from Heartbreak

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attachment

By Ashley Barnes Perhaps one of the most impactful and profound experiences of young adulthood is our first heartbreak or break up. The pain is certainly emotional in nature but can also show up somatically, hence people describing break ups as resulting in a “broken heart.” The pain is undeniable and valid, especially when considering the time, energy, and meaning that is placed on our first serious relationships. For many, the first serious heartbreak occurs as a result of college. Relationships may end due to partners being far away from each other at different schools. Some couples may strive to make long-distance relationships work despite this, but find that it is too difficult and ultimately part. Others may go to the same school but end up breaking up. We may meet a partner at school, date for a while, and then things may not work out; after breaking up, we …

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Finding Support for Families of Addicts

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Finding support for families of addicts

Addiction is far from an individual disease. It affects every relationship, including friends, spouses, children, parents, coworkers, and extended family members. Developing a substance use disorder can take months or years. During this time, relationships change, and each person takes on a new role. Not all roles are healthy. For example, some become enablers and think they are helping, even when they see their loved one spiral out of control. However, learning about and finding support for families of addicts can be one way to alleviate many of these changes and the stress that might be taking place. Other friends and family may choose to end the relationship with the addict, and some may even develop their addiction. Their intentions are good, but as circumstances worsen, they are left feeling exhausted, hurt, angry, and confused. Without support, things will only get worse. Therefore, finding support for families of addicts is a must. …

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Intimate Partner Violence

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Intimate Partner Violence

What is intimate partner violence? According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, intimate partner violence (IPV) is “abuse or aggression that occurs in a romantic relationship. ‘Intimate partner’ refers to both current and former spouses and dating partners. IPV can vary in how often it happens and how severe it is.” (2021). Intimate partner violence can include the following types of behavior: physical violence, sexual violence, stalking, and psychological aggression. We encourage discourse to shift from using the term “victims” to using the term “survivors” when referring to those who have endured intimate partner violence; “survivors” is a more empowering and accurate term that highlights the strength it takes in being subject to such harrowing experiences. While women are statistically more likely to be survivors of intimate partner violence than men, it is important to note that countless men are also survivors of intimate partner violence.  Statistics. About …

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